The News

Alright then, here's the fun news:

When I came home from work last Thursday, there was an email from someone named Dillon Campbell. Given the amount of spam I get using plausible names, I deleted it. But there was something about it that nagged at me, and I went back and dug it out of the trash, so to speak. Upon opening it, I discovered that Dillon is a musician out in the L.A. area. He's currently working with Dave Stern from Capitol Records on the release of his first ep. He came across my image, "Solitude," in a Google Images search and was wondering if he could use it on the back of the ep, giving my credit in the liner notes! He gave me a link to his music on MySpace so I would have an idea of what my image would be attached to. I gave it a listen, and I really like it, especially "Black and Blue." Actually, I'm listening to it right now. I gave permission for its use.

How cool is that?

But that's not all.

The very next day I received an email from someone else who came across the image in the same way. He had been commissioned to take the poem "No Man is an Island" and place it on an image to be hung in someone's office. Could he use my image, "Solitude?" I sent a larger copy, and he's working on the graphic now. He'll send me a copy of the finished product.

How strange was that? Curious, I went to Google Images myself, plugged in "Solitude," and discovered that it's the 7th image listed; that's how people are suddenly finding an image I posted so long ago. I don't know how it ended up there, but wow.

So now the image is going to be on the back of someone's ep, and also hanging in someone's office.

What's New?

Hey there. I'm alive. So far.

In the end, I didn't get any sicker; my temp dropped and I was left with a scratchy sore throat, which lingered for several days to a greater or lesser degree. Given how sick everyone around here has been, I got off pretty lightly. It drained me, though, leaving me exhausted by the end of every day. My days have consisted of: bookstore>gas station>bookstore>school>home/homework>bed, or some such variation. Instead of being up until 2-4 A.M. as in olden days, I've been nodding off on the couch before midnight most of the week. I would think of blog entries I would want to make- there's one about the amount of copies of How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time we sell at the store which keeps floating around my pea brain- but by the time I get home, I'm so tired that my mind has gone blank and I don't even feel like turning my computer on, which is really saying something!

That being said, I've been thinking about what I blog about. I think it must get tiring reading "I went to school. The teacher was ok. Then I went to work, where the people ticked me off. After that, I went home."

While you still may get some of that, I thought it might be more stimulating if I posted a bit more about what I'm studying, the thoughts and questions being posed, etc. There might be something of interest to you as well. For those of you who are also in school and whose brains are already sizzling around the edges, you can feel free to say "Mm hm. Very interesting." without ever taking your nose out of your current textbook; I'll understand.

It's the weekend, though, and my first post back, so I'll wait to challenge your little gray cells until next time. I also have some other fun news, but I think I'll save that for a post of its own.

Ta!

Popping In

I've had a scratchy sore throat and have been running a temp on and off for the past couple of days. I went to work anyway, but other than that have been resting. I start school this morning. I'll catch you up, and catch up with you, perhaps later tonight. Hope all is well!

On to more Positive Thoughts

In the interest of self-preservation, I've started to read the first chapters of a couple of my texts. I figure if I can get ahead now, I may not fall behind later. There's some good news in that my sociology prof (previously known as That Evil Bastard, a title which I've revoked until I know whether or not my math teacher is more worthy of that appellation) has informed us that he assigns a heavy course load at the beginning of the semester, and a lighter one later. As this is directly opposite to most classes, this should provide some much needed balance in the workload overall.

This weekend I'm also hoping to get some more work done on the house in terms of finishing the walls in the kitchen, and preparing both the kitchen and living room for painting. I've chosen to use my discount at work to get a book called Paint Magic. If you click on "Search inside this book" under the picture there, you can see the cover much more clearly, and also check out a couple of other walls. I love the look of this and am hoping to apply some of these techniques in my home. Knowing as I do the fact that the guys who put the drywall up didn't do a good job of it (gaps between boards, etc.), and knowing that no matter how hard I try, I'm not going to be able to make the walls perfect the way a professional could, I think that one of these finishes would be a great solution, covering up any imperfections with style. The order should have been filled today, and be waiting for me when I go to work on Monday. I'm really looking forward to getting my hands on it!

I also decided to buy Solar Energy Projects for the Evil Genius. There's that word "evil" again... seems to be a theme. Anyway, it presupposes no scientific background from which to start, which is just about my speed. I thought that Randy and I could check it out and, if feasible, perhaps set some of it up in our home when we're able. Thinking, thinking, pondering possible home improvements all the time...

Predestination, and the Forces of Evil

A man whose surname is "Crooks" is being brought up on charges of embezzlement. I just thought that this was amusing. Did he become a criminal because he was fated to, or did the name give him the idea? *G*

And in other news, one of the math professors has accepted a job elsewhere, resulting in a re-shuffling of professorial assignments. The upshot is that I won't have the professor I thought I'd have for my math class. Instead, I'll have the one professor I was determined never to have. Several people, including those who love math, have said he's horrible. He stands at the board and puts the stuff up. He doesn't really explain it, or invite questions. He doesn't make himself available for questions; he expects you to figure it out for yourself. I won't have time to go to the study center for tutoring; if he's anything like his reputation, I'm really going to be on my own.

Then, when I went to work at the gas station tonight, I discovered that my boss has added more paperwork to be done at the end of each shift. However, she wasn't there to explain it to me; her daughter did. But Tina forgot to tell me one crucial bit about printing out one report, so I couldn't fill out all of the paperwork properly. Frustrating! For the most part, the extra time it takes to fill out won't be a big deal, but on days when I have to be out the door on time in order to make my class (math... ugh), it's going to be a problem. I don't have time to sift through several different reports in order to locate the pertinent information to plug in, and then do the math involved in the form she's created. I can't print out the reports I need until my replacement arrives and is logged in, therefore I won't be able to begin my paperwork until after my shift is supposed to have ended. I understand that this new paperwork actually really does need to be done in order for her to organize the records she needs to keep. It just makes my life a little more difficult at a time when I feel that I have more than enough on my plate already.

AND it was a bad hair day!

There are times in my life when I feel like something in the cosmos really is out to get me. This doesn't occur very often, but now happens to be one of those times.

My Immaturity is Showing

Is it wrong that every time I see the book entitled "Black Wind," I think it must be a book about a really nasty fart?

Preparing

I bought my textbooks today and, while my heart has finally started beating again, I still haven't caught my breath. I'm grateful that I was able to get one text for free by swapping with another classmate who needed one of my old texts.

But I have all of my books now, and am more or less ready to go. My sociology class is online and the professor has already posted some material. As a result, from now on I will be referring to him as That Evil Bastard. It isn't that he has already put up an assignment (school doesn't start until next week), but the fact that he has scheduled all quizzes and exams for 8 A.M. that has earned him the title. I mean, come on. I might be able to get up and function, but it's inhuman to expect me to think cognitively at that hour! What's the point of taking an online class for scheduling flexibility if it still isn't going to accommodate my schedule? The man who would choose to schedule exams at 8 A.M. is a man who likes to torture students for the sheer fun of it. Evil.

There. There's my first complaint of the semester. Which technically hasn't begun yet.

That aside, I'm looking forward to my classes. I'm feeling intimidated by my workload (school and job), as I shared yesterday. I spend so much time assuring others that I will be fine, that my health can take it and so can I, and they all seem to believe me, or at least are humoring me. I just wish I believed it myself.

Deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Slowly. No hyperventilating. Repeat.

It will all be alright. I know it in my heart- it's just my head that needs an enema to cleanse it of doubts, and other stuff.

My Little World

I've been in such a weird space lately. Not good. Not bad. A little of both? A little of neither? I don't know. Just weird.

I find myself remembering things from my past that make my skin crawl, things that I've said or done that I wish I could change, but can't. I know that in part this is due to my AA anniversary next month, and to seeing people from my past whom I haven't seen for years with connections to my drinking days. One of my bosses asked me about what made me choose sobriety, so I shared that story with her, reliving it. I spoke with my sister Sarah yesterday, who is once again trying to get clean and sober. That was actually a positive experience- she sounded like herself for the first time in years. Whether or not she truly gets it this time, I'm finally forgiving for the past and letting go of the bitterness. I've even invited her to call me from time to time, just to talk.

Speaking of phone calls, I've had a lot of people calling me and, for some reason, I just haven't felt like talking to them. Oh, I did anyway, but not without heaving an internal sigh before answering. This only happened when I knew that the person was calling because they wanted something of me; otherwise, I was fine. I think this is in anticipation of school beginning next week. I'm feeling so overwhelmed as I contemplate trying to keep up my GPA while working 2 part-time jobs. I struggled last semester, ultimately affecting my health. I've worked out a detailed schedule for every day of the week once school starts so that I know what sort of time I'll have to do everything I need to do. It's grueling, though, and I may have to make adjustments. But thinking about everything I'm going to have to do leaves me feeling as though I don't want any other demands of any sort being made of me.

I have some attitude adjusting to do.

Throw concerns about money in there and you've got a real mess.

On the other hand, my birthday weekend was really nice. On the day itself, I took the opportunity to gut and organize the guest bedroom, once my home office. It isn't done, but the major tasks have been completed. I know it sounds like an odd way to spend a birthday, but it's what I wanted so I went with it. Then, on Sunday, Randy took me shopping for my birthday. He bought me new clothes because nothing fits anymore since I lost all that weight. I'm almost literally half the woman I was 6 months ago; I went from a size 14 to a size 8. I'm where I want to be and don't plan to lose anymore. Now I just need to tone and strengthen, and continue to eat healthy instead of consuming mounds of junk food. Anyway, after shopping we went to visit my grandmother (the one with Alzheimer's) in the nursing home. Sunday was her birthday, and I wanted to spend some time with her. She had no idea who I was, though she never let on to that fact. She seemed startled and a little offended when I asked her if it was her 25^th birthday because, though it was actually her 96^th birthday, she thinks she's in her early 20s now. So to her, I guessed that she was older than she is! She was awake, alert and funny during the visit, moreso than I've witnessed in a long time. It was a good visit.

I went to my homegroup (AA) meeting, and then Randy and I went to my mother's house for my birthday dinner. Most of my family who lives locally was there, the food was perfect and we all had a nice time.

So my weekend was ok for the most part, other than the occasional squirrely-ness in my head. Despite having to work both jobs today, I'm feeling incredibly mellow at the moment. I'm going to school tomorrow to buy my texts, though I can't really afford them; I don't have a choice. "It is what it is" has come out of my mouth a lot lately, as I learn to accept things as they are.

I believe there's another post in that last sentence alone, but for now I'll end here.

The Gift of No Demands

"We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.". ~Marie Beyon Ray

Today is my 37^th birthday. I've been in a reflective mood lately, feeling a need to be still, if only in my mind. I plan to spend the day quietly. We won't actually celebrate as a family until Sunday, when my mother has off from work; she wants to cook dinner for me. For today, I think I'll luxuriate in the joy of having nothing planned.

My wants are simple.

A Little Game

My friend Leo shared this game with me. I altered it slightly: instead of using the random Flikr photo, I chose to use one of my own. I simply wasn't comfortable using someone else's image, even though it isn't for profit. Otherwise, I followed the rules and can't wait to hear what sort of music I- er, Jimmie Fiddler, plays.

1) Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The article title is the name of your band

2) Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The final words of the last quote on your page are the title of your album.

3) Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third image on the page is your album cover. You can choose to go to http://www.flickr.com/groups/flickrsocial/pool/ if you prefer a more dynamic, less philosophical cover.

4) Design your cover. Layout and presentation are up to you.

5) Post your cover, along with these instructions. In the comments your friends will tell you what kind of music you play and the name of the album's single.

Warning All Office Workers

I sold 5 Office Espionage Kits today alone. This takes paranoia and office politics to a whole new (amusing) level. *G*

So wherever people congregate (coffee pot, water cooler, etc.) in the office, it might well be bugged. Because you never know who might be talking about you.

But you want to.

Historic South Canaan Meeting House

Not What I Had Planned

He went to work, and then came right back. He slept all day yesterday and is feeling much better today. BTW, he said you're all wrong. *G* That's my husband for you.

I was planning to clean all day today, to surprise him when he came home. What he didn't tell me yesterday is that his boss gave him today off as well. This is, I suppose, a good thing. But now he's underfoot and, worse, I woke up to him cleaning instead! On any other day I'd be happy about that, but he just usurped my surprise. Grr.

What an ungrateful wife I am.

I think I'm probably more grumpy because my slow, peaceful, quiet beginning to the day was nonexistent because of his noisy bustling. I'll get over it. Hey, at least my house is getting cleaned, if not the way I would have chosen.

Control issues much?

He Needs TLC

My poor Randy, who never admits to being sick, is sick. I knew it was bad as soon as he called me from work to let me know he was leaving early because he "felt like crap."

First, he never misses work.

Second, he doesn't swear and almost never uses language which even approaches it. "Crap" is strong language for him. That's ok- I swear enough for the both of us.

Such is the man's nature that even after he came home, sick as a dog with a stomach bug, he still wanted to wait on me; the male-turned-baby-when-ill stereotype doesn't apply at all. I had to make him lie down on the sofa while I took care of him for a change. He dozed off, huddled under the blanket, until I was able to to talk him into going to bed. He's had to get up a couple of times, and I'm hoping I can talk him into staying home from work tomorrow. Knowing him, he'll get up in the morning and try to tell me that he's feeling much better, and can work. Then he'll go to work, only to have to leave early. Much better to just stay home and sleep if you ask me. At least he isn't running a fever. He has epilepsy and, while his medication has kept him from having seizures for as long as I've known him (with the exception of one brief seizure a few years ago in his sleep), a fever could still bring one on. That's not likely to happen in this case, though. He has a stomach bug, no fever.

Back me up, people- tell Randy to stay home, in bed, and let me take care of him!

After the Storm