Snowy Night

We had a more impressive snowfall tonight than we've had all winter. It's been coming down for over an hour now. At least 4 hrs, actually. This means that the snow might actually stay on the ground for more than half a day this time.

When I got home from school tonight I went outside with my camera. Here's one shot I managed. I converted it to black & white, and upped the clarity. Other than that I've done nothing to it. The blurring to the left was caused by the glow from a window across the road and a slower shutter speed due to lack of light overall.

I'll Say It, He'll Like It. Or Pretend To.

Every morning before he leaves the house, my husband comes into the bedroom and kisses me good-bye. I wake up enough to tell him I love him, to have a good day and to drive safely. He always says "I will" in a slightly exasperated tone of voice to the latter admonishment; as a member of the volunteer ambulance co. he's well aware of the consequences of bad driving. This morning I was a little sleepier than normal and only said "I love you. Have a good day" before I fell asleep again.

Randy got into an accident. He's fine and, as far as we know, the woman driving the other vehicle is as well. It wasn't Randy's fault; he had the right-of-way. She pulled out in front of him despite a stop sign and a flashing red light. He hit her front passenger-side door going about 45 mph. She was very apologetic, explaining that she didn't see him coming. He wasn't angry, just relieved that they were ok. Once they made sure that both of them were unhurt, Randy called the police. Randy didn't receive a ticket and was allowed to go. We don't know what if anything happened with the woman. Her insurance company- Allstate- has already spoken with Randy a couple of times today and has arranged to come out tomorrow to look at his truck. There's a little over $2,000 worth of damage to the driver's side front and fender according to one estimate. At least it's drivable.

It's going to be alright, though. The truck will be fixed. Most important of all- and I can't stress this enough- Randy and the other driver weren't hurt. And from now on, I'll say "drive safely" and he'll take it with a smile on his face, even if it's fake.

Skinny School Girl

While cleaning up after my meeting tonight, one of my friends called out "Get your skinny ass over here!" I think I love that woman. I came home and celebrated with an extra bowl of homemade chili. *G*

I survived my first week of school and am happy with it. For starters, my math skills are improving. The review of long division was especially helpful as this is where I went wrong in elementary school. I had moved from inner city Dallas where I was in advanced math, to the suburbs where I was behind. I had missed division altogether and was teased by teacher and classmates alike for not knowing how to do this basic thing. Once flustered, I never got over it, until now. My professor is kind and patient with us. Her explanation finally made it clear for me and I'm not feeling as anxious. If I can keep my mind open and teachable, this class might not be too bad.

My first U.S. History class was on Friday. The professor is older but this is her first full-time position. She's a little flaky, but in a fun way. The younger students have a short attention span and can be annoying. Other than that I'm enjoying the course. We covered the vikings and conquistadors. Such lovely people, one and all. Each week we'll have readings and watch a documentary, and discuss them. There will be a quiz during each class on the material from the week prior to allow us to get a sense of how we're doing and to seek help if needed. She won't penalize us if we miss a class, however there won't be make-ups either. She gives us enough room to hang ourselves; it's up to us whether or not we do so.

Finally there's my online Composition class. I've done the readings, answered the professor's survey questions regarding my background in college-level English courses, answered more questions about an essay we were assigned to read and have participated on the discussion boards. I've already made a friend my age who is also just returning to school, pursuing an MSW. Now I'm working on a rough draft of my first essay, due on Sunday. We had to choose from a list of topics. I'm going with Travel Can Be The Best Medicine using my trip to Alaska as my main example.

It's been an exciting and busy week!

Home Improvements To Continue Finally

Since Thanksgiving I've been way too burned-out to consider doing anymore work on the house. The most enthusiasm I've been able to muster is when I lie on my back on the couch and look at the spotted ceiling and think "That needs to be finished. Someday." It's so nice to have a clean space after months of construction. Still, I knew the day would come when work would need to commence again and my orderly world would return to hell.

Hell is moving back in at 11 am, when my brother and his friend Cat are coming over to do the remaining work on walls and ceiling, including painting them. They both need the money and I don't want to do this particular project anymore, so this works out well for all of us. There's more than a day's work which means that I'm going to be living in a dusty mess for awhile again- we have school during the week *G*- but I know that it'll be worth it in the end. There will be pics.

I also hired a landscaper today. She's a friend from AA and I've known her for a couple of years. She has suddenly found herself temporarily strapped for cash. As she was sharing this it occurred to me that there was a solution. I had a large flower bed on the side of the house which has been reclaimed by the lawn. I've wanted to restore it but am unable to do so with my bad wrist, and Randy doesn't have the time. I spoke with her, received an estimate and paid her a retainer. She now has money to see her through until her expected checks arrive, and I will be getting my flower bed back.

In other words, my home will finally be receiving improvements again, and I don't have to bother with any of it. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Where Does It Lead You?

"...writing is an act of discovery." ^*

I read this in my textbook today and as simple as it is, I love this concept.

Writing is, for me, a cathartic experience. It allows me to clarify my thoughts or to work through my emotions. It's especially helpful when I feel generalized anger or sadness and am unable to explain why I'm feeling the way I do. I write and as I write, I process what is going on inside of me; the cause of my pain is revealed and I am able to address it.

Writing is also an act of discovery in that it invites authors to explore their imaginations, to call on their creativity and see where it leads them. Who knows what wonderful things are lurking in your mind just waiting for the day when you stumble upon them, pluck them from obscurity and give them life in the form of the written word?

_{* Jean Wyrick, pg. 32, Steps To Writing Well With Additional Readings, Sixth Edition.}

Brief Note

I tried to go to bed early last night with mixed success. I'm off to my first U.S. History class. There will be no photos. The lighting has been poor and now we're dealing with sub-zero temps. My only goal is to get to and from class without my blood crystallizing in my veins.

More later...

A Little Out Of Sorts

I'm tired of being treated with a lack of respect as though I am a recalcitrant child. I'm tired of dealing with people who seem to feel that I don't have anything of value to say so they don't bother actually listening to the words coming out of my mouth, assuming instead that they know what I'm saying and telling me I'm wrong without ever actually having heard me. Having opened the door to change, I'm contemplating switching some other things up as well. I find myself wondering why I continue to put up with people with whom I am uncomfortable sharing any part of myself. I don't want to go into it too much right now; I wrote this more for my benefit, to get it out of my system and work through it. This does not in any way refer to any of you but rather to a "real life" situation. I'll probably come back to this another day, and I'll reference this post and you'll think to yourself "Oh! That's what she was on about."

Yup, that's it.

I have such a terrific headache and it isn't even from the math homework I did earlier. Strange, huh?

I'm probably going into school an hour early tomorrow not because of the other day but because I'm giving my brother a ride to his class, which starts before mine does. If it isn't too bitterly cold perhaps I'll bring my camera along and take some pictures to share before I have to head off to math. It's supposed to be nasty though, so it may have to wait for another time.

I love you all, but unless you've fallen through ice or something I'm not all that interested in getting hypothermia for you. *G*

3rd Time's A Charm?

If idiocy- like all bad things- comes in threes, then I should be done now.

I left for school early to give myself time to find everything. I made it with 5 minutes to spare and settled into a seat. The guy who works at the local feed store was in the class too so I wasn't feeling completely alone. And then it slowly dawned on me that everyone in the room had a Photography textbook on their desks. Just before 6:30, when my class was due to start, I discovered that I was in the wrong room! I had checked and double-checked where my classrooms were before school so I was certain that my class had to be somewhere in the same building, perhaps moved to another bigger/smaller room as needed. I raced all over the building looking for it, but it wasn't there. I saw someone from the student senate who I recognized from orientation and told him my predicament. He was very kind and helped me figure it out: I had mixed the locations of my two courses up in my mind. I'm not due in Greenwoods 309 until US History on Friday morning. Nope. I was supposed to be on the opposite side of campus in North Building, room 3. Great. By now I'm almost ten minutes late and I've made an ass out of myself in front of several people, including the guy I buy pet supplies from. Damn that blonde in my hair!

I'm shy and hate having attention drawn to me, so the thought of disrupting my math class and annoying the teacher by being late to my first class terrified me. I was parked between the two buildings and it was touch and go whether I would continue on to class, or turn into the parking lot and leave, explaining to the professor at the next class. I really wanted to do the latter, but proudly can say that I decided to face the fear and at least make the attempt to go to class. Some professors are known for locking the door once class starts; if you're not there, it's your problem. Otherwise I decided I would just suck it up, walk into class and apologize for interrupting. That is just what I did. Actually, somebody else came in a minute later so I wasn't the last one to show up. The professor forgave this time, but I can't let it happen again. She's professional and upholds strict standards. I respect that. I participated often just to show her that I took her class seriously and I think that went a long way to redeeming myself in her eyes. Those of us who were late had to stay after so she could check our names off of the attendance sheet. I apologized again and explained. She smiled; that's either a good thing or she was pulling an Ali McBeal and imagining my head being ripped off. Either way, I successfully got through my first class.

Then, on the drive home, I came across an emergency scene. I wasn't sure if it was a fire or an accident- firemen respond to both. There were trucks, flashing lights and fire police everywhere. As I crept along it looked as though one of the firemen was approaching my car, so I lowered the window. I was listening to a David Ford song and realized just in time that I needed to turn the volume down immediately because a certain lyric was about to be blasted, perhaps at the scene of an accident. What was the lyric?

Cheer up you miserable fuck.

Not quite appropriate for the situation unless you're a rather twisted person. There's hardly any swearing on this very mellow cd, and that's the lyric that had to be playing just then.

As it turns out it was a chimney fire, not an accident at all. I'm still glad that I managed to shut off the music in time. Perhaps my luck is beginning to turn.

Preparing For Classes

I woke up feeling anxious. My first class is tomorrow (now today) and the thought had me a little panicky. School is already off to a rocky start; I tried to log into my online Composition class and hit a snag. There's a problem with the access code, namely that the site doesn't recognize it. The publisher and the professor are creating a work-around removing the need for that specific code (it's one that only has to be entered the first time you log into that particular course because of specific software used for the class, so no security issues) so that hopefully we can log in tomorrow. I was the first to bring the issue to my professor's attention so though it isn't my fault and he's been nothing but kind, I can't help but hope he hasn't mentally pegged me as a pain in the ass. *G*

To take my mind off of everything and keep it fun, I went to Staples and bought myself a nice bag for my books and the laptop if I choose to bring it. The bag is a classy brown leather one and gives me that little extra boost of self-confidence. Either that or it will mark me as a good target for mugging. ;0)

Yeah, so, classes begin for me later today. Hopefully I'll be able to access my Comp class, and then I have Pre-Algebra in the evening. I'll let you know how it goes.

Blood Bath

Yet another good intention gone wrong. Do you think that if I began to have evil intentions life would run more smoothly? This paradigm shift sounds a little too much like work, though, so I'll give it a pass. Besides, I don't like change and I have enough on my plate already.

Back to my good intentions...

Sam's nails needed to be trimmed but he's a dog, you see, and not too fond of the process. Therefore as I tried to trim the nails, he kept jerking his foot to try to free it. I accidentally cut too far back without realizing it right away. He's such a good guy that he didn't cry out or even try hard to stop me from finishing. His blood pooled on the rug slowly, looking for all the world like ketchup. Scary stuff.

Thankfully I used to watch a show dedicated to the pets in our lives. The host once informed the viewers that if such a situation occurs, not to panic. Vets will sometimes cut too far back in order to ascertain that the blood clots properly. If this occurs in the home, apply corn starch to the nail; this speeds up the clotting. That's what I did and it worked quickly and perfectly. So there's a handy tip for those who may find the need of it.

Once Sam was taken care of I had to apply first aid to the rug. Randy gave me ice cubes and paper towels. This is a trick I learned when I worked with special needs kids. Ice draws the blood out of fabric and patting- not rubbing- removes the majority and helps to prevent stains. The rug is patterned and will be fine. Then I discovered that there was blood all over one leg of my jeans. Of course they were my favorite pair! More ice and paper towels. They are now being washed in cold water in the hopes that the blood will come out.

In the overall scheme of things, though, that's not such a big deal. Jeans can be replaced; Sam can't.

I'm An Idiot

I have deleted almost every single illustration and photograph on this site.

I could cry.

It began, as these things often do, with good intentions. I have almost a thousand entries from August 2004 to the present; I intentionally deleted the years prior to that. The problem with having that many entries is that it turns the simple act of rebuilding the site into a lengthy process. I thought I would speed things up by moving the archives and providing a link to them. I created a second blog just for the entries prior to November '06 and saved them on my computer. Then I went into my cpanel and created the necessary files for the new blog. I moved some things around and wound up with some extra files. I wasn't paying close enough attention and deleted what I thought was an empty archives file.

It wasn't empty, and it wasn't extra. All of those old images were stored in it.

The text of each entry is intact but all of the accompanying images were lost because the links to those images are no longer valid. Some of the newer posts retain their photos because they were stored in a different location, however.

On the plus side, I have successfully moved those archives (minus the photos) so that this site loads more quickly from my end. And just think of all of the storage space I freed up on my server for the next generation of images!

It still sucks, though.

UPDATE

A positive attitude pays off! It turns out that I didn't actually delete those archives after all! I have located them and the images appear to be intact. Over the next day or so I'll have everything restored beautifully, one hopes.

From tears to laughter in the blink of an eye...

It's Your Show

It was one of those days. There was nothing major to recount, just what felt like an endless series of little annoyances. I am tired and disgruntled.

Yes, it has come to that. I'm out of gruntle.

That being the case I'm throwing it back to you. On this week's episode of 30 Rock, Kenny (the page) was given the opportunity to pitch a concept for a show to the studio execs. If you had the opportunity to pitch an idea for a new show, what would it be?

Go crazy. *G*

New Look

So I had several hairs chopped or razored off yesterday and, as promised, I have a couple of photos. The first is my more tousled look:

Getting Older And Changing

Orientation was helpful and I'm glad I went. It was 3.5 hours long, though, and I'm a bit fried tonight. The odd thing was that at the end of it when we were split up according to majors to meet with a faculty member, I wound up sitting next to my brother Drew's ex-girlfriend! It was fun catching up with her; they're still friends and she's a sweet girl. It's odd for me, though, to be going to college with my brother and his friends. But it's also kind of fun!

I got a new haircut today and it's really cute. I'm just too tired tonight to take a picture. Which is too bad because, as most women know, a new 'do looks great when you walk out of the salon but it will never look that good again. Let's hope that isn't true for me this time; I'd like to be able look this cute more often. ;0)

Good To Go

I have now registered for my classes, been assigned a faculty adviser, paid my tuition, received my student id card, bought my text books and have arranged to attend the student orientation tomorrow night.

I've done it.

I'm only taking 3 classes this semester in order to get used to an academic course load once more. So what will I be studying?

U.S. History I - I had to buy 3 books for this class which should have made it the most daunting of my studies this Spring. I'm looking forward to it though. Of course I've studied this subject before but it will be interesting to see how it is treated at the collegiate level. In addition to the main textbook, we'll be reading Mutiny On The Amistad by Howard Jones, and Decision in Philadelphia- The Constitutional Convention of 1787. The class is 3 hours long but only meets once a week on Fridays, so it won't be too bad. Hopefully the professor will schedule in a break at some point.

Pre-algebra- Let's face it, in my prime I sucked at math. It's been 18 years since my prime. I'm taking elementary-level math as a refresher because I'll need to take Intermediate Algebra for my major. I will never understand how solving for x, y or z will benefit me; it hasn't helped so far. My mother says that math develops deductive reasoning, so let's go with that. I still hate it.

Composition- Another core course I have to get out of the way. I'll be taking this one online though, which will save me a trip or two to campus, a 30 minute drive away.

My first class- Pre-algebra- meets on Tuesday evening (it's a T/Th course) so I'll have more on my classes then.

What A Pair

John Edwards has decided to run for president and I couldn't help but think while I watched his interview the other night that teaming him with Barack Obama as a running mate could be interesting.

I doubt it will happen, the thought just intrigued me. They're young, energetic, dynamic and have vision. There are aspects of these attributes which could be used against them, of course. Lack of experience, etc. Still, I can't get the pairing out of my head now that I've thought of it.

Can't Change A Thing

Do you ever re-watch a movie in which someone you like dies and wished that this time that character would do something different, and live? You know it isn't possible- it's a movie for crying out loud- yet you still find yourself tensing at the crucial moment hoping that somehow it'll change?

I'm currently watching the end of Air Force One, hoping that this time William H. Macy's character will somehow make it. Not going to happen, but I can't help it...

Oddness

I'm sitting roughly somewhere between the bedroom and living room televisions. They're both tuned into the same station- Randy turned on the program we were watching when he went to bed- but there is a slight time delay between the two sets.

So a moment after I hear a line of dialogue from the movie Groundhog Day in the bedroom, I hear it again in the living room.

A movie which repeats itself is repeating itself.

Funny.

Feelin' Fat And Sassy

Thank-you for the birthday wishes; you're all so sweet!

It was perfect really. I was able to spend it quietly, puttering about uninterrupted doing things that I felt like doing, or not doing things I didn't want to do. It culminated in a wonderful dinner at my mother's house, just Mom, Dad, the siblings, Randy and I. Mom went all out, preparing Alaskan King crab legs, steak, potatoes and asparagus. My birthday cake was a turtle cheesecake which was really outstanding! Nutty, caramel-y chocolatey goodness married to heavenly cheesecake. Yum!

I received cards, flowers, a Pier 1 gift card and Randy is going to have a remote car starter installed by a company recommended by the VW dealership from which we bought my car. As winter is reportedly about to put in an appearance, this will be a nice addition to the car I still think of as My Inanimate Baby.

Trite as it might sound, however, the best part was not the gifts but spending time with the people I love, enjoying their company. To me, there's nothing better.

Thanks again for wishing me a wonderful birthday; your wishes came true. :0)

On another note, I finished reading Orhan Pamuk's My Name Is Red last night. I liked this one. It was full of passionate emotions: lust, anger, jealousy, obsession. This refers not just to romantic or sexual relations, but also to the intrigues surrounding the Sultan's court miniaturists. Artistic style is used to compare Eastern vs. Western views in 16^th century Istanbul, and the results are sometimes tragic. Blinding- as punishment, self-inflicted, naturally caused or faked- is a common thread throughout, as are the legends and history of Turkey and its neighbors. At its most basic level it's a well-told mystery and has prompted me to begin reading Pamuk's Nobel Prize winning Snow.

Happy Birthday To Me

I'm 36 today. I must say it feels pretty good.

Finally!

Wheezy observes the world, newly dusted with white. She is unimpressed.

So am I, but at this point I'll take it.

You Are Beautiful People

Many of us spend too much time worrying about the things which we don't like about ourselves. How often do thoughts such as "I'm not smart enough," "I'm not thin enough," "I'm not pretty/handsome enough," "I can't do that," etc. run through our minds?

Why not put that aside for a moment. I know you all to be smart, handsome, intelligent people capable of doing anything you set your minds to.

So, without mentioning anything that you don't like about yourself, what do you like about yourself?

It's Official

I received a letter from the admissions office today; I've been accepted. Now I'm waiting on the registration info packet they said they would send along.

So there you have it. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I will once again be a matriculating college student this semester. No keggers this time around, I'm afraid. Still, it should prove even more interesting than the first time.

I'll be paying attention, for starters...

New Question

It's no longer just a head cold; it's moved down to my chest. Every time I cough I feel as though the left side of my head is splitting open. I don't know why it's only on the left and not the right, but I'll just be grateful for it and let it go.

Let's think of something else in the meantime, eh?

If money was no object, what is one new thing you would like to learn and/or try this year?

Snickers

What is your favorite candy or sweet?

Take Back The Streets

I need to have a chat with my MIL about the way she raised her son to share. He is such a generous man that he gives me everything. Case in point: he just gave me his cold. I feel like crap.

You know what else is crappy? It's going to be in the 60's this weekend and everywhere I look I see bicyclists now. I don't like them in the Spring, Summer or Autumn; if I'm going to get stuck behind them in the Winter, I might just have to do something drastic. Please, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against those who stick to the side of the road when they ride. I enjoy riding a bike myself. But around here the cyclists will ride right down the center of the side roads, which are winding and don't allow for passing, even if you could pass around someone riding where the double-yellow line would be if there was one painted there. They will look back, see you stuck in your car behind them, and they will ignore you! They don't move out of the way and seem in no hurry, sometimes even chatting to one another; they think they own the road. These are the ones that are just begging to be nudged off of it. Not hurt, just removed.

I would never actually do this; I just fantasize about it.

Bow Before Me, Servant

Do we really want to know what Her Furry Majesty is thinking?

Calling On A Higher Power

Because She Asked

LazyGal tagged me and I don't have anything else on tap, so here you go:

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. When I was around 11, I volunteered to help the music teacher organize the large walk-in closet where instruments, etc. were stored. She had a meeting to go to and left me to work. I don't remember what prompted me to do this other than that I had created some mythical mystery in my head, but I climbed the built-in shelves to the ceiling tiles. I pushed one of these aside and climbed into the crawl space above looking for clues. I wasn't there for long; I heard the teacher returning and clambered back down quickly. She was none the wiser. Neither was I for that matter.

2. As a freshman in college, I won the Best Actress award and Most Outstanding Freshman Contribution To The Theater Dept. Unlike everyone else, I didn't know beforehand that I was going to win anything that day and it was only by chance that I turned up for the formal ceremony to support some friends. When my name was called, I had to go up to the the stage- once for each award- in front of a packed auditorium. While all of the other award winners were wearing slacks or skirts, I was wearing a man's vest over a baggy shirt and a pair of jeans with most of the ass torn out, boxer shorts thankfully covering up my backside where the denim was sadly absent. The first time the president of the college handed me my award he raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. He had only seen me from the front. When I went back up for my second award, he said through the smile pasted on his face: "You didn't know you were getting an award, did you?" Through my own forced smile, I relieved him by replying, "No."

3. I liked clapping the erasers after school.

4. My first celebrity crush was on Shaun Cassidy. I had all of his records and faithfully watched The Hardy Boys. But I was fickle and gradually transferred my affection to Parker Stevenson. Then I went off of the Hardy Boys entirely for John Travolta. Such is young love.

*sigh*

5. I have a morbid streak with an imagination fed by such shows as CSI and Law & Order. This means that every time I take the train into Grand Central and it enters the tunnels under the station I find myself automatically scanning the dark cavernous space for giant rats and/or dead bodies.

Wow, that was really hard. I've shared so much about myself already that to think of things I haven't mentioned before (and which I find appropriate to share here) was a real challenge!

My mother recently came across a bunch of old photos. Here's one of me just 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. My hair was almost to my waist. Then I visited a friend who offered to trim the split ends. She was only supposed to take off an inch or two.

She chopped it to shoulder-length. I never let her touch my hair again.

Candles For Greta*

Heard at a meeting tonight:

"I was born, not fermented, and I was born to live."

Welcome, 2007