I was at my meeting tonight and so missed most of the State of the Union address. I caught maybe 15 minutes of it, and of course the comments afterwards. Here are the (admittedly juvenile) thoughts I had, which I shared with Randy, the pets and whichever government agency is assigned to listen in on our house this week:
First I wished that I had one of those televisions that you can write on and dry-erase. It would have been so much fun to draw horns and "666" on Cheney's bald pate.
Which led to the next thought: Was Cheney selected as vice-president as a sort of anti-assassination insurance policy, much as Quayle was for Bush the Elder? I mean really, who would want to take out the president when that's the alternative? Bush is certainly safe from me, other than my ongoing diatribes against him and his policies, of course.
Moving on I rapidly noticed that every time Bush paused, people stood up and clapped. Were they really so pleased that he managed to complete a sentence without screwing it up? Did they think he was finished? Or were all of their seats wired so that a man hiding in a balcony could periodically zap their bottoms with the push of a button, launching them out of the seats and/or stupor? Or all of the above?
As the camera panned over the crowd, I kind of wanted to sneak among them and poke the occasional person with an electric cattle prod. BTW, for those feeling outraged with me, please note that this urge was quite bipartisan. I just wanted to stir them up at a time other than when Bush completed a sentence correctly.
Finally (in more ways than one), after the address was over Brian Williams was interviewing people for NBC, getting their reactions to Iraq and Social Security, etc. Williams uttered my favorite line of the night when he asked a young Moderate "Do you like his package?"
I almost fell off the couch laughing.
I have such a filthy mind sometimes.