Warning- this entry discusses "romance enhancing" products. It isn't really graphic, but I thought some of you would like a little warning. Consider yourself warned.
I went to my SIL's Slumber Party tonight. Though I only knew Randy's sister, I was able to relax after getting to know a couple of her friends. It was fun except, of course, for the fact that I had to bite my tongue a lot, not wanting to give anything away about my love life with her brother.
A love life which appears to be better than those of the 20-somethings present at the party. The presenter made all sorts of comments about men's incompetence to hit the right spots or take time, lack of consideration, etc. Now, it was all jokingly said, but the young women (I was by far the oldest there) all nodded and laughed their agreement. I kept thinking that if a woman isn't happy with what her lover is doing- or not doing- why doesn't she just tell him what she likes, teach him how to make her happy, rather than simply lying there bored and mentally categorizing him as a bad lover? It wouldn't hurt to find out some of the things he likes as well. Just a thought. Anyway, as she listed the ways in which a man lets a woman down in bed, I was thinking "No. Nope, don't have that problem. Nope, he's got that covered..." etc. No worries, I'm not going to go into details. I'm just saying that even though those girls were laughing at me for being old, it appears that I have by far the best sex life.
I guess some things really do improve with age.
Anyway, some of the toys were scary looking (do I really want something that looks like a cactus coming at me?) and some were funny. One was flashing a variety of colored lights, circling, extending and contracting while another part of it, resembling antennae, wiggled back and forth. It was hysterical! I considered buying it for the laugh factor alone.
I didn't. Just for the record.
What I did buy was pretty boring for the most part, things like massage oil, body lotion. Nothing exciting really.
Except...
You know those blow-up dolls, those Inflatable Suzy dolls? Well, I bought an inflatable sheep. *
Yes, a sheep.
And I announced it loudly, with a big grin on my face.
"If my SIL is going to put me on the spot by dragging me to one of these things," I thought to myself, "I'm going to make this interesting."
It's something they sell as a gag gift, and I bought it in that spirit. I have an idea of who I want to give it to, a certain friend whose real name begins with "L" and who occasionally reads my blog. He knows who he is, and if he likes, I'll drop it off for him the next time I'm out in his neck of the woods. Not that he has a thing for sheep, mind you, just that this would tickle his sense of humor.
Unless, of course, one of you want it... ?
*G*
*You'll be brought to a page that requires confirmation that you're 18 by clicking on the "Yes I'm over 18" button. At that point, you can either refresh the link or look under "Novelties and Gag gifts" to find the sheep (or anything else for that matter) if the refresh doesn't work. Look around anyway. It could be fun.
Or not. :0)
I went to my SIL's Slumber Party tonight. Though I only knew Randy's sister, I was able to relax after getting to know a couple of her friends. It was fun except, of course, for the fact that I had to bite my tongue a lot, not wanting to give anything away about my love life with her brother.
A love life which appears to be better than those of the 20-somethings present at the party. The presenter made all sorts of comments about men's incompetence to hit the right spots or take time, lack of consideration, etc. Now, it was all jokingly said, but the young women (I was by far the oldest there) all nodded and laughed their agreement. I kept thinking that if a woman isn't happy with what her lover is doing- or not doing- why doesn't she just tell him what she likes, teach him how to make her happy, rather than simply lying there bored and mentally categorizing him as a bad lover? It wouldn't hurt to find out some of the things he likes as well. Just a thought. Anyway, as she listed the ways in which a man lets a woman down in bed, I was thinking "No. Nope, don't have that problem. Nope, he's got that covered..." etc. No worries, I'm not going to go into details. I'm just saying that even though those girls were laughing at me for being old, it appears that I have by far the best sex life.
I guess some things really do improve with age.
Anyway, some of the toys were scary looking (do I really want something that looks like a cactus coming at me?) and some were funny. One was flashing a variety of colored lights, circling, extending and contracting while another part of it, resembling antennae, wiggled back and forth. It was hysterical! I considered buying it for the laugh factor alone.
I didn't. Just for the record.
What I did buy was pretty boring for the most part, things like massage oil, body lotion. Nothing exciting really.
Except...
You know those blow-up dolls, those Inflatable Suzy dolls? Well, I bought an inflatable sheep. *
Yes, a sheep.
And I announced it loudly, with a big grin on my face.
"If my SIL is going to put me on the spot by dragging me to one of these things," I thought to myself, "I'm going to make this interesting."
It's something they sell as a gag gift, and I bought it in that spirit. I have an idea of who I want to give it to, a certain friend whose real name begins with "L" and who occasionally reads my blog. He knows who he is, and if he likes, I'll drop it off for him the next time I'm out in his neck of the woods. Not that he has a thing for sheep, mind you, just that this would tickle his sense of humor.
Unless, of course, one of you want it... ?
*G*
*You'll be brought to a page that requires confirmation that you're 18 by clicking on the "Yes I'm over 18" button. At that point, you can either refresh the link or look under "Novelties and Gag gifts" to find the sheep (or anything else for that matter) if the refresh doesn't work. Look around anyway. It could be fun.
Or not. :0)
It reminded me of what we used to say in my frat (which was actually what we self-described as a 'co-educational, off-campus, non-discriminatory housing alternative'): "[frat], where the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep run scared".
Seriously, though, i agree with what you say about letting the guy know, and the absolute weird/scary nature of some of these "toys".
Glad you had fun, though I totally get the SIL awkwardness!
(I can feel your squirmishness though- the awkward kind because of Randy, not the other.)
A sheep- hahahahaha! perfect for levity, memories and more.
Seriously, am in agreement w/ you about "why don't those women just gently tell or even wordlessly "show" their significant others what to do? Even when I was newly married, we were open about that. It would be far easier and more rewarding than relying on a gadget-- well there ARE some gadgets that are "interesting", although I'm not one who wants inanimate things stuck into me- to each his/her own.
Gem has a great sense of humor, too. We've always felt that our love life is good because of that factor!